The Law Center

divorce

Know your Strengths and Weaknesses

The opposing litigant, the lawyer, and witnesses aren’t your friend. And just because your friends and family love you and want to support you, doesn’t mean that they’re always helpful. The other side is there at court to present evidence against you and ask for something different than what you want. However polite or even friendly the other side is outside of court, remember that when your case is called, they’re going to be telling the judge why you shouldn’t get what you want. You’re in litigation.

Win the “he said, she said” argument.

A family law case involves at least two people, and more if there’s children. The judge knows this, and So should you. Even if you’re the reasonable one and your ex is busting your chops the whole way, you chose that person as a spouse and/or co-parent, or at least didn’t run away sooner after the warning signs.

Be Brief. Draft an Elevator Pitch

As an arbitrator, I was always impressed with the experienced, short-spoken attorneys who made their point in a few seconds rather than the insecure young lawyers who spoke like they were paid by the word. When in Court, use the KISS method – keep it short stupid!

Prepare Your Evidence and Exhibits well in Advance

Having your documents organized helps you win your case. You need to know what information you have, where you have it, and how you’re going to use it. Using exhibits effectively will show the judge that you take the matter seriously, and it will make it easier for the judge to take you seriously as well.

Don’t Hate Your Co-Parent, and don’t let your Ex Know what you’re thinking. Disengage!

“Never hate your enemies. It clouds your judgment. Never let anyone know what you’re thinking.” Two wise sentences from Michael Corleone to his Nephew from the Godfather. Unfortunately, this has deep, close application to family court. I’ll explain.

The family law Court system puts father and mother against each other in a legal war, and parents often try to completely destroy the co-parent because of the pain, raw emotion, and deep wounds that were inflicted from the relationship or the separation. Ideally, they’d support each other for the benefit of their child, but the reality is that the pain and emotion of the break up can be so intense that it causes aggression, irrational behavior, and destruction to one or both parents.

Control Your Emotions – Prepare to have your Buttons Pushed

Your ex knows how to upset you. He or she may start pushing your buttons in court to cloud your judgment, because then you respond with anger, and the emotions work against you. What can you do to combat this?

My wife uses the phrase, “poke the beast.” When I’m in a bad mood and holding back my rage, and then my son starts needling me, my wife says to him, “Thomas, don’t poke the beast.”

How do I Prepare for Court?

You researched the forms, the law, and the procedure, and you filed a Petition, or were served with one. Now its time to prepare for the conference, hearing, and/or trial. In preparing your case, ask yourself 3 questions:

1) What do I want the judge to order?
2) Why should the judge give it to me; and
3) How am I going to prove it.